You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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