im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
