I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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