I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
