I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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