Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
