dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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