Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
