There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
