Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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