When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
