grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
