consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
