That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
