HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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