I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
