Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
