Can Purell be used as lube?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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