The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
