Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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