he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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