Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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