there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
