i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
