our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
