I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
