ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
