i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
