now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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