Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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