even my farts smell like vagina
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
