if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
