Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
