i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
