too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
