Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
