How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
