Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
