Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
