Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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