What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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