What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
