dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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