You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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