After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
