why didn't you poke me back
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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