So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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