Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
