Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
