apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
