Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
